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( 7 months ago )

Responding to rumors spread by office manager

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Katie George

User

( 7 months ago )

You go straight to your office manager and say: "I heard someone is spreading lies about me wanting to leave. That's totally unacceptable. I want to know who is starting these rumours".

Why would you say that? Not because you actually want to know who started it. But because by demanding an answer like that, you kill any discussion about whether you want to leave or not, you have now very clearly stated the fact that anyone saying you want to leave is lying. You also haven't accused the office manager of anything (even if it is her who started the rumours).

What can your office manager say to that? You have just stated clearly that anyone saying you want to leave is a liar. And it should be obvious that since you know whether you want to leave or not, that is a fact. So there is nothing she can say unless she wants to call you a liar straight to your face. And the way you put it, that would be very, very awkward for her to do.

Should she try to say that she thought you wanted to leave, you say "what would make you think that nonsense"? With every word you say, you make very clear that these rumours are lies and/or nonsense. The point is that you never defend yourself. You make it clear that there is no need for any defence - any talk about you leaving is nonsense.

If you are asked about how you know, the answer is "never mind how I know. I'm not deaf and blind. I hear things. It doesn't matter how I know, I want these lies to stop and you are the office manager, that's why I come to you".

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Vikrant Srivastava

User

( 7 months ago )

 

I've been a technician for an optometry clinic for about a year, and I'm continuously learning that my office manager is very biased and makes inappropriate comments to coworkers (mainly about coworkers' appearances/personal lives/etc.) This sort of thing has affected me directly a couple times, and bothered me, but I shook it off and moved on.

However, today I learned (via a friend/coworker) that my office manager came to her and asked her if I had any plans to quit. Apparently another coworker had gone to her and told her that they saw me working on my resume (not true), and that I hated my job (definitely not true). When my friend stuck up for me and told me that this was definitely a rumor and I loved it there, my office manager responded by saying that my friend was "the only person she'd talked to who thought otherwise." Implying that she had gone to multiple coworkers behind my back and they had all come to some sort of consensus that I didn't like it there and had plans on quitting. She was even considering hiring someone else just in case I threw in the towel soon.

To give some more background information, I love my job. I love working with the patients and doctors, and I would consider myself pretty dedicated. I wouldn't say that I'm close to very many of my coworkers, but I've always made a point to be courteous to them and make light conversation during down time. Although I've been working there a year, I'm the newest employee, and it's a pretty close-knit (and very cliquey) group of people. For that reason, I've found it hard to fit in (and I'm a naturally quiet person), but I've never been rude to anyone.

So my question is... where do I go from here? My office manager made my friend promise that she wouldn't tell me, but she still felt that I had the right to know what was going on. If I go to my office manager (or the doctor... who is her boss) directly, she would without a doubt know how I found out and my friend could get in trouble. This feels so juvenile... but I'm really at a loss as to how to resolve all these rumors about me.

EDIT: I'm getting downvotes, but no indication why. How can I improve my question?

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