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How to get over being angry due to being laid off? [closed]

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( 4 months ago )


Due to circumstances beyond my control, a contract that I loved working on has been terminated with very little warning and I have been told my last day is Friday.

I understand its business, the contract was three months late and way over budget. It should be noted that this contract involved two remote teams ( one in mid-west and one on the east coast). the east coast team was constantly delayed, over budget etc.. My team was dependant on the east coast team.

How can I get over this feeling that I have been screwed and move on? I need to focus on finding a new job and this has become a distraction. Regardless of the fairness of this, this is life, stuff happens.

I really need to focus on getting a new job and support my family. I have two kids in college and tuition :)



( 4 months ago )

Figure out what or who are you angry at. At the east coast team whose delays got the project scrapped? At your employer for not giving you advanced warning? At yourself for not seeing the signs, for not being prepared? At your kids for going to college? At God? At life? At universe? At your current situation?

You are angry at the east coast team.

You feel like they screwed you, but in reality they didn't. They really didn't. They screwed the project. Because you were attached to the project you may feel this personally, but it isn't. I am sorry, but they didn't do this to make you lose your job. And when that happened at the end of the day they don't give a second thought about you. You don't matter to them because they have their own world of problems to live in. They also have problems like mortgages, kids in college and their own careers to worry about. You aren't in their thoughts. Why should they be in yours?

You are angry at your employer

They behaved in their best interest, as they should. From what you've told they didn't miss-behave or committed any wrongdoings towards you, other than maybe not doing more to prevent this. They take care of their business. When the project was going awry, they didn't warn you that you might lose your job. Not because they don't care about you, but because that would have been in their detriment. They were probably thinking they can still do the project and as such they needed every hand on deck working to save the project. Telling employees that the project is unsure and there is a chance of getting fired most likely would have make the employees quit for a safer job or start to slack off. Again, this wasn't about you at all. They have their own business to run.

You are angry at your yourself

Use this not to punish yourself, but to prepare yourself better next time. There isn't much more to it. It's that simple. Stop dwelling on what happened and focus on how you can be better from now on. This is about you. Now you have an important experience you didn't have before and you can use it to craft a tool. Now you can see and interpret the signs better. You can better prepare for ending up without a job.

You are angry at the expenses in your life

See bellow (the situation part)

You are angry at your God

Well, that is between you and Him

You are angry at life, at universe

Everybody has his own interpretation here. My advice: focus your energy only on what you can influence.

You are angry at your current situation

Good. Be angry at your current situation. But I say again: current! Don't dwell on how you ended up here. If you are angry at the east coast team, immagine you live in a parallel universe where all the teams performed exemplary and your employer got bought by a bigger company which terminated the project because it didn't fit their business strategy. My point: it doesn't matter how you ended up here, the only thing that matters is the current here and now: you are in this situation where you don't have a job and you need to provide for your family. This is the only thing you focus on. You need to provide for your family. Once you realize that is the only thing that matters you can use all of your energy exclusively on finding solution to change and improve your situation.

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